


Stay. Don't Leave Me Alone

by Renee561



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Insecurity, JB Week 2019, Season 8, based off artwork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 11:54:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20907245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renee561/pseuds/Renee561
Summary: He froze when she said those three words.





	Stay. Don't Leave Me Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WeirdDaydreamingFangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdDaydreamingFangirl/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Inktober 2019: Jaime x Brienne Edition- Day 4: Freeze](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/525047) by Weirddreamergirl. 

> Hello lovely jbers!
> 
> So, my precious weirddreamergirl or a girl with many names, drew a fabulous picture of jaime and brienne and honestly it inspired this fic. She is amazing and I love her! 
> 
> I hope she and yall enjoy it because I haven't written something like this before. 
> 
> Beta'd by the amazing Sea_Spirt! She is wonderful and I love her.
> 
> Renee

"She’s hateful, and so am I," he told her, watching from what felt to him like outside his body. He could see in that second before he turned to climb on the back of his horse that his words hit their mark. They pierced her like a sword to her heart, and he felt an instant remorse, though he didn't take back his words. He couldn't. 

Brienne deserved someone better than him. He was not a good man, and Brienne was the best. She could never love him as he was. 

Sex, sex was easy, and it was good. No, it was the best. Even compared with his supposed other half. It was sweet, pure, untainted with all the lies and hate that both Cersei and he poured out at one another before, during, and afterwards. 

After the first night, he meant to sneak out; he had tried. Brienne had been hurt and confused and asked him if she was the reason he decided to leave. He had shaken his head and explained in a distant voice that he never stayed before. It wasn't allowed. 

He didn't have to explain any more. Therefore, when she had asked him to stay, he hadn't thought, he had pounced, bringing them both back to bed and another round of pleasure. 

He didn't try to leave after that, though Brienne had told him he could stay, but only if he wanted. So he did, because he did want. He’d wanted with every hateful part of his being. 

He longed to be worthy of her, but he wasn't. So he had to leave. He turned away so she didn't see the tears that had started to gather in his eyes and freeze down his cheek. It was also so he didn't see how her face crumpled from his words, from how truly hateful he was. Not because of the words, the lies and half truths he spoke to her. But because he didn't want to leave; he never wanted to leave. He must.

He hated the North, he hated the Starks, he needed to go South where Cersei was. Brienne would no longer welcome him now that he had broken her heart. That had been his intention when he realized that Cersei could win. 

He knew the moment he realized being with Brienne was everything how he was not ever going to deserve her love. Not even if he lost his other hand or fought a thousand bears or defeated countless more wights. He would never be the man worthy of someone like Ser Brienne of Tarth. 

She was loyal, kind, strong, and so fucking good he couldn't even begin to describe it even if he had the words. 

He put his foot in the stirrup, ready to mount Loyalty, the horse he had snuck out of King's Landing. The horse he had named to remind him why he was headed to the frozen North. He heaved himself up, ignoring her soft cries, each sound another tear in his heart. 

He had to do this, even though now he was more reluctant. He took a deep breath, letting the cold air freeze his throat and lungs before grabbing the reins tightly in his one hand and wrapping them around his other one. 

"I love you. Please don't go back, you'll die. I don't want you to die, Jaime." The words weren't loud, or even clear. They were sobbed. Her soft cries were now loud sobs. 

He froze atop Loyalty at her words, his heart thundering fast inside his chest. His own tears had stopped. 

He should pull the reins and go South. He needed to go. He should go.

He dropped the reins from his tight grip. He swung his leg out of the stirrup and over the back of the horse. Sliding down, he landed on the frozen ground, on the snow that crunched under his boots. 

His body felt light, almost as if he was moving in a daze to Brienne, who was still standing, though no longer was she standing proud. She had a defeated air about her. Her face crumpled, her body hunched, arms holding her stomach as if holding herself together. 

He swallowed thickly but did not pause. He must have misheard her...she couldn't love him. He was not worthy of her. Besides, he had caused this! No, he must have misheard, yet his feet would not comply to jump back on his horse, head south to Cersei. 

He could not. He had to make sure. 

He stopped in front of her, her lips mouthing one word over and over. It took him a few seconds to read her lips between breathless crying. _ Please _. 

He debated for a minute, breathing shallowly, watching her cry, wondering if he was dreaming. Wondering if he had already left and was imagining this scene in his head. It wouldn't be the first time he dreamed of her. Not like this of course, but he'd dreamed of her in other scenarios. Most of the time she or he were naked; sometimes they both were. 

He watched in a daze as he lifted his only hand to cup her face. He had a glove on, and even though his fingers still felt frozen underneath, he could well imagine that both of their faces were cold. The North was too fucking cold for them. 

She opened her eyes, and the shiny blue orbs broke his heart. He’d done this, too, broken his own heart as well as hers. She let her tears fall, and she bit her lip to quell the noise. She brought her hand to his wrist, holding and stroking it just as he had in his moment of weakness when she cupped his face, begging him to stay with her. 

He wanted to, but he was like Cersei. Hateful, evil, irredeemable. They were mirrors; they had always been mirrors of one another. Shouldn't they always be mirrors of one another? Wasn't that the way of mirrors?

"What did you say?" he questioned, his damn voice hopeful. He should let go of her and walk away. Instead he stepped closer to her. Almost like he needed to be closer, breathe the same air. 

He could count the freckles across the bridge of her nose like this. He could just lean up and kiss her now, like his body was screaming for him to do. 

No, he should be leaving! He must leave. She must hate him. Please, if there were gods let her hate him. Curse him with her mouth, call him kingslayer, call him a sister-fucker. Anything. 

She searched his eyes, and she sniffed. Her body shivered in the cold, yet they stood there for a few minutes, maybe hours. He wanted to wrap her in his cloak or warm her in the way that he has been the past month. 

She sniffed again, and slowly, so slowly raised her other hand back to his face. Her hands were freezing, almost the temperature of ice. He still leaned into the touch. He craved her warmth, her touch, her. All of her. 

Tears were still streaming down her face, but she was no longer crying. Her chin wobbled and when her tongue went to wet her lip, Jaime had to refrain from pressing his own mouth against hers. 

"I-I love you. I'm in love with you. I don't want you to die. I don't want you to--" she stopped talking. 

Not that she had much of a choice. He pounced, attaching his mouth to hers just like he’d wanted. 

It was a problem, her being in love with him. He was not worthy of her. He should leave. 

Brienne held him tighter, kissed him back. Her lips tasted of desperation, of salvation, of home. 

He wasn't leaving. He didn't have the strength. He’d planned to leave because he was afraid, because he wasn't worthy of her. But she loved him. The how and why he wanted to know, but that could wait until dawn. It was late, or extremely early, and she was cold. He was, too. And he knew of a few ways to warm them up. 

He pulled away, but she tightened her grip on his hair where her hands had ended up. Not that his hand was much better. 

"No, stay. Please," she begged him again. No tears this time, no sobbing. Just Brienne asking the man she loved to stay with her. How could he deny the woman he loved? He wasn't a strong man, not when he knew she loved him back. 

"I'll stay, but you should know that I love you too. I'm not the smartest man, Brienne. I wasn't leaving because I wanted to. Because I want to be with you, but I don't deserve you. I will never deserve you, but I love you too much to try and leave again. To hurt you like I had and I know you won't for--" He was cut off by her lips on his. It was by far the most effective method of shutting him up. 

He pressed closer and finally wrapped an arm around her waist. She clung to him and he had no complaints about anything at the moment. All he could think was that he was a lucky fucking bastard. 

He knew they would talk about his words to her, about him deciding things without her. They were a team, had been a team even before they slept together. But come dawn, he would make it official. He would marry her, and any children they would have, would be Tarths and Lannisters. Children he could claim as his. 

They went back inside and even though they were both frozen to their cores, there was warmth as they held one another. 

Brienne helped him discard their clothing, tossing it on the stone, grabbing him to hold close. He followed her, not assuming anything, just wanting to know this was real and not a dream in his head. He couldn't bear to think that this was happening all inside his head. 

She kissed his skin, muttering those three, sometimes four words, branding him with her love. He didn't leave her alone, either. He kissed her, again and again, repeating those three words against her lips, against every inch of skin he could reach without displacing the fur covering them.

Soon, she was wrapped around him and he clung to her as he shifted his hips, her low grunts in his ear sounding like sweet music. Neither one wanted to move on top, so they stayed side by side as she guided him in. He didn't complain; he had gotten comfortable with her seeing his stump sans his golden adornment. He pressed it against her lower back because he needed her closer. 

She seemed to understand as she shifted her long leg higher, allowing him deeper and closer. He kept repeating her name and the three words against her heated skin while making sure to entice her using his lips and teeth. 

"_ Jaime _," her head was tossed back, exposing her long neck, mouth slightly parted, eyes closed. And her cunt. Gods, her cunt was trying to strangle his cock. 

"_ Brienne _," he moaned and maneuvered his stump between them, since his only hand was currently trapped between their bodies and the bed. She gripped his wrist and guided his wrist where she needed him. Her grip tightened as she bucked against him and finally came. 

A few more pumps and he was panting against her shoulder, sweat coming from their skin. She didn't move, even as he slipped from her grip. He let his nose and lips brush against her skin. 

He relaxed against the way she tangled her fingers in his hair, running through the sweaty strands. 

"I'm glad you stayed, but I'm still mad at you. I understand, Jaime, but I'm still mad," she whispered, though she didn't stop running her fingers through his hair. 

He smiled against her skin. "I am, too. I don't mind, wench. You being mad at me, so long as you love me." 

He dared to look at her, giving her his best boyish grin. 

She rolled her eyes, huffing slightly, but a small smile played on her lips. 

"I do. And you love me as well, though for a few minutes I questioned it," she said, moving her hands to cup his face. 

He leaned up, looking deep into her eyes, his smile not losing its grin. "I do, and tomorrow I'll show you properly how much. Marry me, Brienne? Not because I'm scared of losing you, but because I want to. I _ want _ to be your husband, if you'll have me?"

Tears shone in her eyes, and he felt the smile fall. 

Then she laughed, and he felt his body lighten. He could feel her hands move back into his hair, and she pulled him closer. "Yes, I'll have no other than you." 

He loved that, but he pressed his lips to hers instead of saying anything. Sometimes he just needed to shut up and kiss his lady. 


End file.
